


A Galaxy Without Hope

by RPGwrites



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Nightmares, Post-Canon, What-If Story, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28406559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RPGwrites/pseuds/RPGwrites
Summary: What if the Archon succeeded in getting Meridian? What if the Archon won and Ryder failed. All hope is lost. The Galaxy is lost and broken and nobody knows what to do now. Ryder didn't just lose SAM but her brother as well. All eyes are on her to pick up the pieces and find a new way to stop the kett once and for all. Will she succeed? Or will this just be another thing she screws up?
Relationships: Cora Harper/Male Ryder | Scott, Liam Kosta/Female Ryder | Sara
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	1. Not Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> A ver big shoutout to [ Pip_n_Flinx ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pip_n_Flinx) who offered to beta. 
> 
> This is an idea I got not too long ago. I got so excited and couldn't wait to start with it. I'm so excited to take on this journey with all of you and I hope you enjoy it with me. 
> 
> Many thanks to the people on my server the, Bioware Fanfiction Writer Club for encouraging me to write this.

“SAM!?” Ryder screamed as the Archon got control of Meridian. “What the hell should I do?”

Ryder looked at the direction her brother was in. He sat limply on his chair clinging to consciousness. She would make sure the Archon paid when she’s done with him. 

“Activate the console.”

Ryder stared at the big console. The closer her feet took her to it the bigger and scarier it got. She knew what it would do to her.

Her gaze went to her brother’s again he looked paler and paler by the second. It didn’t matter what it did to her. It was all the motivation she needed. 

She pressed her hand on it and screamed. 

“This will not stop me,” a deep dark voice said. In turn, Ryder only pressed harder on the console. 

Ryder screamed louder and louder. She thought she would’ve blacked out but when she saw it again Liam was steadying her. 

“It’s over,” Liam said and turned her to him. 

She looked around her Cora and Wrex were at her brother’s side but weak movements told her one thing. He was alive. She changed her gaze to the Archon. His limb body told her another thing. He was dead. That placed a smile on her own features. But she had to make sure. 

Ryder thought for sure every limb of her body would’ve screamed at her. That she would be in unbearable pain. That she would lose unconsciousness. But she didn’t. And somehow that didn’t feel right. 

So instead she took her pistol out of its holster and walked up to the Archon. No one stopped her. No one was in her way. And if they were she wouldn’t be stopped. Brie Ryder was sure about that. 

She walked steadily. No slowing down at all. When she was next to him she pointed her pistol at his head and fired the shot. Green blood was on the floor. And the sight of that gave her happiness. 

“Ryder?” 

Suddenly Liam was at her side taking her pistol and settling it down. Next he took her hands into his and squeezed them. “Are you okay?”

She gave him a smile. “I’m perfect. We won.”

Celebrations were in order. Lexi took care of Bryson, but something about this whole situation didn’t sit right with Ryder. 

Everyone was too happy. Her crew didn’t moan about her shooting the dead Archon even more dead and she half expected him to jump out of the shadows at every corner.

She shook her head. That must’ve been her imagination. The Archon was dead. She had made 110% sure about that.

Ryder didn’t need medical care, she was perfectly fine. That was another thing that didn’t make sense at all. She should've felt something. Anything. But she didn’t...

“So Ryder,” Suvi came to her, “How does it feel to be the hero?”

It felt great. Amazing. She had kicked the Archon’s ass. They showed him together they could work. “Pretty great.”

She managed a sip of her whiskey before the glass fell out of her hand. A pain at the back of her head caught her attention. A deep dark voice spoke. “You’re not that quickly rid of me. You’re pathetic to have thought you’ve won that easily.” 

It hurt so much she couldn’t speak. Ryder couldn’t think. And the edges of her vision darkened. “How… No…”

She couldn’t come up with complete coherent sentences. “Dead.”

He laughed again as if this is all a joke to him. “I’m your worst nightmare.”

And everything became dark. 

* * *

Ryder woke up to a world of pain. Everything hurt. Machines blared and nothing made sense. Something was down her throat. It was impossible to swallow and it was uncomfortable to breathe. She panicked and with it the machines screamed louder and louder.

“Brie!” Someone said, alarmed. He had a smoothe London accent. “Hold still they’ll get it out soon.”

Her mind didn’t want to work properly but her eyes fluttered open in the process. It only added more to her world of pain. And it took awhile for her eyes to adjust to the light. 

It didn’t take long for nurses and doctors to storm her room. With their help, they got the tube out quickly but afterwards, Ryder couldn’t stop coughing. The tube was out yet it felt like it was still in there. 

“Give her some water,” a turian doctor said. 

“Wh-” she coughed again, not being used to using her voice like she was. “What happened?” she whispered instead. 

The doctor and Liam shared uncomfortable looks. Whatever it was it must’ve been really bad. 

“What is it?” Ryder demanded. Although it was a whisper it still held the command in them. 

The doctor changed his gaze between him and Liam. His madibles were tight around his face. There was a grim look in his eyes. “We’ll leave you alone.”

Ryder only starred as the doctors and nurses left the room. Her heartbeat in her ears as she wondered what news could possibly be so awful. 

She tried to think of everything but she couldn’t remember the last thing. But she dreamt of victory, so surely they must’ve won. 

“SAM privacy mode.”

But with Ryder’s words, a horrifying look made it across Liam’s face. She could not think of why though. 

Did SAM do something? Was it like when he stopped her heart?

That could explain the horrifying look. But why didn’t SAM respond? It wasn’t like him to be so quiet like this. 

“Brie,” Liam took his hand into hers, “Don’t you remember what happened?”

“What do you mean? We won, right?”

There was no need for Liam to say anything. His horrifying look was enough. That’s when she knew. “No. No. We won. We had to. If we didn’t…” Her words disappeared as she realized what this must mean. “SAM? He’s gone?”

Tears threatened to escape the corners of her eyes. But she wouldn’t let it. She needed to find out what really happened. 

“I’m sorry Ryder.” That’s when Liam hugged her. Finally, the tears she didn’t want to escape did. “It will be okay.”

Ryder let go slowly. “That’s not all, is it? What happened to Bryson?” She could see it in his eyes. It was something he didn’t want to tell her and that only meant it had to do with her brother. 

Liam took a hard sigh. The only reason why… “No.” She immediately said. The words came out fast. If this was true she’ll never be able to live with herself. “Please don’t say that,” she choked the words out. 

“I’m sorry Brie. You gave your best shot.”

“No. No. He’s not! You’re lying!” This time she barely shouted with her hoarse voice. “He can’t be!”

“Bryson is dead.”

* * *

“No. No. He can’t be!” Ryder kept going on. Alarms started going off as Ryder’s heart rate climbed through the roof. In Ryder’s condition, it wasn’t good for her. 

“Brie please calm down.” 

It didn’t work the first time and he didn’t know what else to do but he couldn’t bear seeing the woman he loved in so much emotional pain. She would only hurt herself if she doesn’t calm down. 

It wasn’t long until Lexi came to the rescue. 

“No. No,” Ryder kept on crying. “Please I need to see him.”

Liam felt bad. They couldn’t even show her the body. There was no body to see. And it broke his heart that he couldn’t do anything to help her. 

“Ryder,” Lexi took both of her shoulders to force her to look at her. “I’m going to give you something to calm down, okay?”

Ryder helplessly looked for Liam for help. He wished he could take her into his arms and tell her everything would be okay. But that would be all a lie. So instead he just nodded his head in hope it would be enough assurances for Brie Ryder. 

Her gaze slowly went back to Lexi. “Okay.”

Lexi squeezed her hand before getting out an injection. She injected via the port of her IV. Then the doctor left. 

“Please stay Liam.”

“I’ll never leave you.”

With what was going on in Andromeda right now he couldn’t be sure if that was a promise he'd keep. 

* * *

“Why can’t she remember?” he asked while he and the doctor walked out of her room. 

“Liam,” Lexi squeezed his arm, “She had swelling of the brain. This can cause any number of things. We’re lucky it’s just memory loss.”

He stopped questioning her. He was miserable. They all were. How could they not be? The whole Galaxy was a mess. But right now the only thing that mattered was Ryder. 

“She’s not taking this well.”

“No,” Lexi answered with a sigh. “She needs time to recover. Time that we don’t have. Tann wants her back to active duty as soon as possible.”

“He can’t!” Liam’s voice rose in the process and they started to walk again. “She went through hell. She doesn’t have a SAM.”

“The Archon hasn’t moved yet,” Lexi reminded him. “But he will soon. Tann wants me to get her ready.”

“And is that an order you’ll follow?” Liam questioned. 

“If she’s healthy. Yes.”

* * *

_ One week earlier _

“I can’t hold on much longer Brie!” Bryson cried out as he was being tortured non-stop. 

“Bryson please hold on,” Ryder begged. It was the only thing she could do. Ryder needed her brother to hold on. They were twins. They needed each other. 

“Ryder,” SAM spoke in her ear. “You need to hurry. You're running out of time to stop the Archon."

She pressed another console as her own brain tortured her again. Her right arm was numb from pain and she groaned. 

From console to console she did this over and over again. But it didn’t feel like it mattered. 

Until Bryson led out a deep moan and the Archon laughed. “You can’t stop it now Pathfinder.” He spit her name out as if it was poison. 

“SAM?” she yelled frantically. She only hoped it wasn’t too late. 

“I’m sorry Ryder. The Archon has Meridian.”

Ryder’s world froze. She looked at Bryson. He was lying limply on the chair. He didn’t look there at all. If the Archon had Meridian…

“No! Bryson, I need you to hold on!”

Her feet moved before her mind reacted. But her brother needed help now. 

“Bryson Ryder needs urgent medical attention. His pulse is dropping.”

She didn’t answer SAM. There was no time to do that. It took a lifetime for Ryder to have her brother in her arms. He barely had a pulse. “Bryson! Don’t you dare leave me!” She practically yelled at him. 

He gave her a very weak smile. “It’s over, we lost. I won’t make it out of here.”

“No!” Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She wasn’t sure when they began to fall. “Don’t say that. I  _ need _ you.”

Bryson gave another weak smile. “Look at what you did this year. You’ll be fine. You’ll find a way to stop the Archon.”

“No,” Ryder started to choke. “I can’t without you. I need you by my side. We promised each other we’ll always stick together. Don’t you dare leave me!” This time she yelled at him. 

“I’m sorry.” And his eyes rolled back into his head. 

“SAM!” She shouted.

“Bryson’s heart has stopped. I recommend doing CPR.”

Ryder was crying snot and tears now. She prayed for her brother. Hoping he would be alive. She opened his shirt and began CPR.

1.

Her hands felt too heavy. Will she be able to do this?

2.

She pressed again but still no movements. Why isn’t he breathing? 

3.

It was all her fault. He shouldn’t have done this. 

She breathed into his mouth but still, nothing happened. He would soon breathe and then he could get the help he could get.

She did it again and again. Until she got an idea.

“SAM!” she yelled. “Give him adrenaline.”

“Bryson Ryder is dead. There’s no bringing him back. Adrenaline won’t help.”

“Ryder,” Liam was beside her now, “We have to go!”

But she ignored him. “SAM!” she yelled again. “Do it!” Ryder completely ignored Liam but she didn’t care. 

“Yes Pathfinder.” 

A second turned into a minute. It felt like a lifetime. But still nothing. 

“Bryson! Dammit! Breathe!” she yelled at him.

“Your brother is dead and it will be your turn next." The Archon breathed. And his words gave her shivers. 

“No!” She yelled at everyone. If they could all just leave her alone she could still save her brother. There was still an option. Still time. There had to be. 

“Brie!” Liam yelled. 

“Capture them!” the Archon yelled after them. 

“We have to go now!” someone else shouted. 

They dragged her. There could’ve been fighting. There could’ve been no fighting. All Ryder knew she lost her brother. She failed and it was all her fault. 

And then darkness took her. 


	2. Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big shoutout to [ Pip_n_Flinx ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pip_n_Flinx) for betaing.

Ryder was on a beach in Miami. The water was blue with palm trees. They must be on some sort of vacation. Ryder had no memory of getting here but one thing was certain. Brie Ryder was happy. 

She took a deep breath as she smelled the sea water in. It was refreshing. 

"Brie."

She almost choked at her brother saying her name. She couldn't believe it. "Bryson. You're dead."

"Yeah." He gave a smile but his heart wasn't in it. "You weren't fast enough."

The pleasant tropical temperature dropped, leaving Ryder with sudden chills. The wind was picking up and all signs of a storm were there. 

"I'm sorry Bryson," she cried out. "You shouldn't have…" She shook her head as tears were filling her eyes. Ryder couldn't even finish the words. It hurt too much. 

"But I did. And now you need to find some way to live with that."

The lively charge a tropical storm turned sterile.They weren't at the beach anymore but she was in a hospital bed. Bryson was sitting next to her.

"You need to heal up," he continued. "Don't let my death be in vain."

* * *

Ryder woke with a fright, medical machines beeping in response. And it took her a moment to regain her balance. 

"Brie, take it easy." Liam was at her side begging her. 

That's when she got familiar with her surroundings. 

Battle lost. Bryson gone. SAM gone. 

She squeezed her eyes shut as she shoved the pain down. She felt Liam's warm hand on hers and her heart calmed down. 

"Sorry." She apologized. For what she didn't know. It could be for losing the battle. For her heart. For basically killing her own brother and losing SAM. She was just sorry. 

"It's okay. We'll get through this."

But the truth was Ryder didn't believe him. She couldn't even look him in the eye.

* * *

Days passed where Ryder only laid in her bed. There was no other choice. She was tired. Emotionally and physically.

"Brie, you've been through a lot," Lexi told her.

_Bryson went through more and I failed him._

Losing him felt like losing a limb. Everyday her heart threatened to break because of that loss. She always had her brother and now he was just _gone_. 

She failed him. But not knowing how that precisely happened was poison. Slowly Ryder felt like losing herself because of that. A piece of herself was missing and she knew she would never get it back again.

She failed her brother. She failed Liam. She failed SAM. Hell, she failed the Andromeda Galaxy. 

Ryder asked her body cam footage but no one wanted her to see it. They feared for her mental health. 

"How are you today?" Lexi asked her when she came for her daily visit. 

"Lexi please," Ryder begged. "I need to see how my brother died."

"Ryder," Lexi warned, "We've been over this. You can't."

"I _need_ to see it." Ryder cracked in her words. "I can't live like this anymore. I need to know what happened." 

Her gaze moved to the door. She expected Bryson to come any moment. But she knew he never would. He was gone. And he would never come back. 

"Alright," Lexi sighed, "I'll see what I can do." 

* * *

Ryder was surprised that Lexi finally granted her access. She had a small monitor in her room. The monitor was usually there so that patients could watch some shows. But Ryder wasn’t really interested in watching things anymore. The only thing she was interested in was finding out what happened to Bryson. 

She linked her omni-tool with the monitor. Her heart was beating in her throat by this time. She remembered none of this. 

She looked through the footage. But there were hours upon hours upon worth of footage. It would take time to sort through it all.

She forwarded through mission time. Something that looked awfully like a vault. It’s probably where the mission was, battle scenes and all that. She stopped when she finally saw her brother. 

He sat limply on a chair. Desperately clinging to life. She shut her eyes as tears were falling down her cheeks. So much hurt. 

Seeing her brother like that was unbearable. 

_No!_ She wanted to scream. Ryder wanted to tell her brother to get up. But she knew it wouldn't help. 

She skipped forward. Ryder needed to see the part where her brother died. The tears only continued to flow and flow. 

Ryder fought rem-tec and whatever the bastard of the Archon threw on her. She stopped when Ryder ran. 

_“SAM?”_ The past Ryder yelled frantically. She could only imagine what she must’ve been thinking at the time. 

_“I’m sorry Ryder. The Archon has Meridian.”_ Ryder shut her eyes as she heard his voice. It has only been days but oh how she missed SAM already. 

The body cam stopped. She saw Bryson limply lying on his chair. He was so weak and right there Ryder knew she wouldn’t be able to save him. Did her past self know that as well?

 _“No! Bryson, I need you to hold on.”_ She heard her own voice. There was so much panic in that scream. 

When she saw again Bryson was in her arms. SAM’s voice rang, _“Bryson Ryder needs urgent medical attention. His pulse is dropping.”_

But she wasn't concentrated on SAM. Her gaze only went to her brother’s. The camera stayed focussed on him. _“Bryson! Don’t you dare leave me!”_

Ryder wanted to beg her brother as well. As if he’s still alive and he could still hear her but Ryder knew that would be in vain. It wouldn't do a damn thing. 

He gave her a very weak smile. _“It’s over, we lost. I won’t make it out of here.”_ And the worst part was she knew he was right. Why the hell did he need to be right?

_“No! Don’t say that. I need you.”_

Tears were now freely falling down her cheeks. She couldn’t stop them even if she wanted them to. There were so many tears in her eyes it was hard to see now. 

Bryson gave another weak smile. _“Look at what you did this year. You’ll be fine. You’ll find a way to stop the Archon.”_

She gave a sad smile of her own. His words meant a lot to her. But she would rather have her brother at her side. 

_“No,”_ Ryder started to choke. _“I can’t without you. I need you by my side. We promised each other we’ll always stick together. Don’t you dare leave me!”_ This time she yelled at him. 

Ryder agreed with that version of herself. Why did her brother have to leave her? 

_“I’m sorry.”_ And his eyes rolled back in his head.

“NO!” Ryder yelled as if that would stop past Bryson from dying. As if she could time travel and stop all the horrifying things the Archon did to her brother. The tears got more and she cried snot and tears. It was hard for her to breath with how much her chest shook. “You don’t get to die!”

“Brie.” First she thought it came from the monitor. But when she looked up she saw Liam standing there. “What are you-” But he stopped as he saw what was on the monitor. 

He did something with his omni-tool and the monitor was switched off. 

“What the hell are you doing?” she angrily demanded the man she loved. 

“Ryder you’re only hurting yourself. You don’t need to see this.”

But Ryder disagreed. She needed to know how her brother died. “I can't remember this Liam!” She shouted between tears. “He’s dead because of me!”

“Brie,” he cupped her face in his hands, “You’re not the one that tortured him.”

“But I’m alive because of him, aren’t I? My implant got reset, but how? Bryson is the only thing I can think about. ” Tears were still falling down her cheeks. 

Liam slowly let go of her. “Brie…”

“Answer me Liam!” she demanded. 

He took a deep breath. Ryder could see this was something he didn’t want to admit at all. “Yes.”

“Then it’s my fault he’s dead.”

* * *

"Lexi," Liam barged in her office. "We need to talk."

Lexi tiredly looked up from her work. Not even noticing in the way he came in. "Alright." With a blue hand she showed towards the chair, "What seems to be the problem?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Showing Ryder that footage?"

Liam was pissed, one step from breathing fire. Ryder was already hurting but now she's hurting even more, just because she saw that footage. Lexi had no right to show her material of her brother dying in her arms again. He couldn't imagine what she was going through with all of this. 

Lexi stood up from her chair. "With all due respect I deemed it necessary. She needed to know. Her memories aren't getting any better." 

"She's upset Lexi. She's not handling it well."

That's when Lexi had enough. She's tired. Overworked. Finally, everything got to her. "Enough! I'm the Pathfinder's doctor." The asari pointed to her own chest. "She needed to see that. She needs to mourn. Ryder has so many unanswered questions. And we have the answers. She needs to know. She has gaps and if they aren't filled she will do it on her own."

This time it was Lexi's time to breathe smoke. In the process Liam took a step back. "Sorry Lexi, I…"

She stepped closer to him and squeezed his shoulder. "You're worried about Ryder. That's understandable."

Liam gave a sigh. "Will she get over this?"

Lexi took a seat again at her desk. "It's impossible to say. Ryder feels like she failed. No matter how many times we reassure her she'll keep believing it. She went through a lot. She and Bryson were very close."

So instead Liam asked the one question he needed the answer to. "How can I make this better for her?"

"You can't." Lexi was honest. But her eyes looked sad. "Just be there for her."

It was the only thing Liam could do.

* * *

The next few days Ryder rarely spoke. Liam was there but there wasn't much he could do to help her.

And then one day she spoke.

"I failed." She choked the words out. 

"Brie," he reached out to her hand and she gladly took his hands into hers. "You did everything right. Hell, you practically fried your brain. You gave Andromeda everything." With each word his voice rose and rose. 

Liam was angry. But the question was at what? 

"But it wasn't enough." These were the words that were bottled up. The words that needed to come out. "I had one chance to stop the Archon. Everyone worked together but it was not enough. I screwed up." Tears began flowing freely down her cheeks. 

"Brie…"

"Don't, " she stopped him with her words. "I can't. Everyone hates me."

Ryder saw how the nurses and doctors looked at her. She was the Pathfinder that failed. Andromeda had no hope any longer. It was all on her. 

"They don't, though."

"My brother is dead because of me!" She shouted the words this time and she wouldn't be surprised if others had heard them. 

"He died because of what the Archon did to him."

She failed. She broke a promise to her dad. She didn't look out to him. 

"He never should have reset my link."

She couldn't help but remember about a past memory. 

* * *

"Brie."

An 11 year-old Brie looked at her father. She couldn't read his face. He either looking sad or angry. Maybe both?

"Yeah?" Brie patted the cushion next to her. Signalling her father to take a seat. 

Alec Ryder took a seat. "You heard me arguing with your brother, I take?"

Now she recognized the look. He looked sad. Was he disappointed in her? But the question was why? 

"Yes," Brie nodded her head. "Are you mad?"

"Well," her father said, "Your brother didn't handle it right. He shouldn't have punched the guy back."

Brie remembered what happened. She was there when it happened. She couldn't help to smile. "But he had it coming. I don't understand."

"If someone punched you, would you have punched them back?"

Brie thought for a moment. Then she shrugged. "Probably not."

"You and your brother are different. He thinks with his brain while you think with your heart. But you need to look out for him."

"Why me?" Brie questioned. 

"Let me rephrase that," he said, "You two need to look out for each other."

"Okay," Brie agreed, "I can do that."

But she had no idea one day she'd break that promise. 

* * *

In the next few days Brie Ryder mourned her brother. She was thankful that with her injuries that no visitors were allowed. Except for Liam. Secretly she wished Liam wouldn't visit her either. But she wouldn't breath a word to him about that. 

She watched the footage over and over again. Liam and Lexi were getting worried. All that she did was watch that footage, cry, and sleep. 

She wasn’t only someone who let her own brother die, she was Andromeda’s worst failure. She could hear the nurses gossiping and one night she put on the TV. It was a talk show. 

“So what can we expect after Brie Ryder failed?” the asari host asked the human woman. 

“Well we’re certainly doomed aren't we?” the human laughed. But even to her ears it was a very grim laugh. 

But Liam came into her room that moment. “You shouldn’t watch that crap,” he said as he came into her room. Quickly with a touch of his omni-tool he switched it off. 

“I was watching that,” Ryder interjected. 

“Ryder,” he took his hand into hers. “It shouldn’t fall onto you.”

“I watched the whole mission Liam. Everyone worked together to give me time and _I_ failed. Not even that. But I lost two of the most important people in my life.”

“Ryder,” he slowly said as if he knew his words wouldn’t make a difference. “I’m sorry Bryson died. But you need to stop blaming yourself.”

Ryder only shook her head, “I can’t.”

* * *

Ryder had been awake for weeks. Bryson Ryder’s funeral would be when she was allowed to go home. It was something she was thankful for. 

Not long after that visitors were allowed. Each of her teammates visited her 

and offered their consolations for her loss. Each conversation grew harder and harder until Cora strode in.

His death was especially hard for her. Bryson and Cora had became good friends, maybe more than friends, and she could only imagine how brutal his death was on her. 

“I’m sorry about Bryson,” Cora awkwardly began. 

“Thanks. It’s weird without him. He was taken from this Galaxy too young.”

“That’s not your fault Ryder.” Cora knew her too well. She knew Ryder would blame herself for his death. 

Instead Ryder gave her a smile, “Thanks. But it is. I rewatched that footage over and over again.”

That caused her second to study her own feet as if it was the most interesting thing in the Galaxy. “Yeah. Kosta told me about that. I know no matter what we say you won’t believe us. But hopefully one day you will be able to forgive yourself.” 

“Thanks Cora.”

Next Drack came and see her. “Hey kid,” he greeted. But something was missing from Drack he didn’t have that spark he usually had in his eyes. 

“Hey old man.” But there wasn’t that humour that was usually in her voice either. “How’s things going?”

“Galaxy’s a mess kid. But we'll clean it up, just you wait.”

“I can’t believe that Drack.” For once Ryder was honest with herself and Drack. “I messed up.”

“Nah kid, you didn’t. That bastard of the Archon did. We’ll avenge your brother. He’ll get justice.”

“Thanks Drack.”

One by one they all came visited. Next Jaal came. He came around just when a tray of food arrived. It was time for lunch. 

“My heart bleeds for you,” Jaal said as he sheepishly checked out the food. 

Ryder didn’t need to ask why. She knew what he thought. “Thanks.”

“You’ll always have a brother in me Ryder. Together we’ll drive the kett away, back to wherever they came from.” 

Ryder smiled and wondered if Jaal knew it was fake. “I’m not sure it’s possible.”

So all of her conversations went. They would be positive but Ryder would turn it around and make it negative. The truth was she was hopeless. 

Brie Ryder saw no way of winning. She would be the thing that ended them. 

They never should have left the Milky Way; it was the worst mistake of their lives.

* * *

“We have to tell her Lexi.” Ryder could imagine how Liam crossed his arms across his chest. They were just outside Ryder’s hospital room. 

“She's not ready to hear that.” Lexi said. 

Ryder leaned forward in her wheelchair as if that would help her to hear better. But with a lot of struggle she controlled her wheelchair till she was out of the door. They were still talking but Ryder’s attention was on the words. It was time to find out what the hell is going on. 

“I’m not ready to hear what?” Ryder asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Ryder…” Lexi was startled not expecting her to stand there or more accurately, sit there. “Don’t worry about it.” The doctor gave her a smile but she could tell it was fake. 

“Lexi she needs to know.” Liam's eyes didn't leave Lexi.

In response the doctor only sighed. “Fine. But you tell her.”

Ryder was getting annoyed. They were talking about her as if she wasn’t there. “What the hell is going on?” she demanded. Loudly with her angry voice. 

Lexi sheepishly avoided her gaze, “I’ll leave you two.”

None of them breathed a word as Lexi left Liam only spoke when they were alone. “Let’s talk in your room.”

“No,” Ryder shook her head. “Talk here.”

Ryder didn’t want the conversation delayed any further. She wanted to know the truth. 

Liam took a deep breath and nodded slowly. “SAM and Bryson aren’t the only ones we lost.”

“What do you-” Then it clicked. Ryder has been so selfish but of course the Archon took it. Why didn’t she think about that? “The Archon...he…” Ryder chocked as she struggled with the tears. “He has the Hyperion.”

“Ryder…”

But she wouldn’t let him. He knelt to her and took her hands into his. She shook her head. “I have no family left. For the second time this year.”

“Ryder it’s not your fault.”

“How can you say that? Dammit Liam he has my mother she could already be exalted! He has the Hyperion how many humans is that?”

“I know.” He said softly. Liam didn’t even try to tell her they’ll save her mother. How could he? He knew it would be an easy lie. 

“I lost everything,” she choked. 

“I know.”

"How did this happen?!" It was the question she didn't want the answer to. 

He looked down his feet, "The kett had the chance to catch people on the Hyperion when everyone was trying to get away from Meridian."

Liam Kosta embraced her as she mourned for everyone and everything she lost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to come and say hi on [ Tumblr ](https://rpgwrites.tumblr.com/).


	3. The Funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big shoutout to [ Pip_n_Flinx ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pip_n_Flinx) for betaing.

Were getting out of the hospital usually gave her joy, this time leaving had the opposite effect. 

It meant Bryson was really gone. That the Archon truly succeeded. And that she utterly failed. It meant Brie Ryder's worst nightmare came to life. And the truth was she had a hard time living with herself.

Luckily she still had days to herself. Unfortunately there were still funeral arrangements needed to be done. But the Initiative would arrange that. Ryder wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse. 

Tann would come later that day. She already knew what he would say. He would talk about her failures and how she could've been better. 

She already knew all of it. Ryder wouldn't be surprised if Tann fired her. 

Yet none of that happened. 

"Ryder, " Tann greeted when seeing her. "How are you feeling?"

With her hands she moved to sit up straight. But she groaned as something hurt. Her ribs have still not properly healed. "Been better."

"My condolences for the loss of your brother."

Ryder only nodded. Weeks and still hearing people's condolences didn't get any easier. "Thanks, Director, " Ryder choked the words out. 

"Let us discuss his funeral."

Ryder listened to it all but she couldn't care less. Usually she would've been mad that the Initiative took over Bryson's funeral but Ryder wasn't. The less control she had the better. It was one less thing she could mess up.

But the longer the meeting went on the harder it was for her. She bit her tongue to stop herself from crying and later she tasted the metal. 

Eventually the words just flowed from one another. Only Tann’s lips moved and no sound came out of it. She nodded at his words and didn’t know what she had agreed to. Even Tann couldn't talk forever though, and the director left her alone with her thoughts.

* * *

The day coming out of the hospital was very hard for Ryder. Her brother should’ve been the one that welcomed her but of course he wouldn’t be seen. He was gone. She wondered what he would’ve thought about all of this. 

But no matter what she couldn’t think straight enough. She couldn’t think what her brother would think. 

He would say that this wasn't her fault. That even if someone else was in her shoes they would have failed too. But she couldn't listen to them. Bryson was wrong. Even in her head. 

"Ready?" Liam asked as he helped her get her bags. 

She studied him. He looked different. But she couldn't put her finger on it. Nervous? Scared? But why would he be?

She only nodded. Together with her wheelchair they went to the reception. It took another 10 minutes to get the paperwork done. 

The people were friendly but she saw what their words didn't say.

_ You failed. _

_ We're in this mess because of you.  _

But one voice stood out. " _ It's not your fault."  _

It was Bryson's voice. Even though she knew it's what he would say he wasn't here. It was just her imagination playing with her. Reminding her of the loss she felt. 

Brie Ryder's heart was breaking from the inside out and there was nothing she could do about it. 

When they finally went outside Ryder finally understood why Liam looked like he did. The public was standing there taking photos with their omni-tools.

Usually Brie Ryder would just ignore their accusations but she knew they were true this time. 

"Just ignore them," Liam said. But even if she wanted to she couldn't. 

"Brie Ryder, the public has questions." None other than Kerri asked. She was the nearest to her. The further Ryder walked the further they followed. "How are you feeling?"

_ Like my world ended.  _

More reporters with more questions. 

"How dare you show your face after letting the Archon win?"

_ I don't know. I know I failed.  _

"What's the plan defeating the Archon?"

_ Just let me bury my brother.  _

"Do you feel like you failed your brother?"

That one made her freeze. It was as if someone held her in stasis. She couldn't move even if she wanted to. 

Brie couldn't even answer that question in her head. It was too painful. 

She was afraid of the answer.

* * *

"Don't listen to them," Liam repeated as he helped her in the apartment. More specifically Peebee's old apartment. 

"Don't." She knew Liam would recognize it for what it was. A warning. "Just don't. I can't do this right now."

Liam stiffly nodded. "Alright."

The atmosphere was strangling her. She knew what Liam wanted to say but she couldn't hear the lies anymore. She couldn't be reassured anymore that it wasn't her fault. She knew it was. 

So she wasn't surprised when Liam felt the need to fill the silence. "Lets watch a movie tonight."

That was the last thing she wanted to do. But at least it would fill the silence. And that's what Brie Ryder needed. 

* * *

"Hi Brie," Bryson greeted. They were meeting at their favourite coffee shop on Earth. The sun was just beginning to set. And soon the cold would reign. 

"Hi. What does Dad say? Plans for Andromeda are going well?" Ryder didn't know why but something was off. As if her brother wasn't supposed to be heard. 

"We're meeting him here at 10. Business to discuss." Bryson was very much unlike himself. He would've made a joke. Yet now he didn't. 

Ryder nodded. In truth she didn't have the energy to deal with her dad. "Good."

But suddenly everything changed. The wind was picking up and a storm was breeding with no warning. "You failed. You should have saved us. Both of us."

Suddenly Alec Ryder stood beside her. But that's when she realized they shouldn't be here. Either of them. They died. "No!" Ryder screamed to have been heard above the storm. "I did everything I could! I tried to save you."

A shot rang out. It was loud. But nothing was heard. She patted her shirt making sure she wasn't a target but one look at her brother and she scraped her chair. "No! Bryson."

He was laying on the ground. And though the table was in the way of seeing him she saw a pool of blood. 

Quickly she moved as fast as she could to get to his side. Blood was escaping from his mouth and he had a hard time breathing. 

"Bryson please!" She begged. She didn't know what else to do. "Don't leave me! You'll be okay!" Ryder needed it desperately to be true. 

He gave a sad smile. "You…" he stopped as he coughed up more blood. "You'll be okay."

"No I won't." Tears were now streaming down her cheeks. It was impossible that this was happening. "I  _ need  _ you."

"You're alone now."

* * *

"No!" Ryder jerked awake, still actively aware of the nightmare. "Bryson!"

"Brie, it's okay." Liam was there cupping her cheeks in his hands. "You're safe."

But tears were still streaming down her cheeks. The movie was still playing in the background but in truth she couldn't care less. "He's really gone. I will never see him again."

He embraced her in a tight hug. "I'm sorry."

She slowly pulled away from him. "I screwed up his funeral plans. He'd hate it."

Liam gave a sad smile but Ryder had no idea what it actually meant. "It's not your fault. Tann took over."

"I let him." Ryder stood up and let go of him. "I failed."

"Ryder…"

"Just stop." It wasn't her words that stopped him but her hand. "I can't. I failed. Andromeda is screwed. SAM and my brother are gone. Just because I screwed one thing up."

"It's not your fault."

But Ryder couldn't dare to believe him.

* * *

The next day was even harder for her and she knew exactly why. It was her brother's funeral. 

She was dressed in a black suit with a grey shirt. She smiled as she thought her mother's opinion: " _ It's your brother's funeral. You should wear a dress." _

It was something she and her mother differed on many times. But her smile fanished just as fast. Because that reminded her of another thing Ellen Ryder was probably a kett now. 

Ryder gave a very hard sigh. Did the Archon know? Was he laughing cause he had her mother? Or was this just another being he could turn into a kett?

She didn't know which was worse. 

She ruffled the unevenness of her clothes. It was time to get ready for the funeral. 

But when Ryder arrived everything was done. There was nothing to do. 

Everybody wished their condolences. The service was long and hard. Eos was the best place to hold the funeral. That was at least something she and Tann agreed upon.

The planet was a symbol of hope. 

People spoke at her brother's funeral that hadn't anything to do with her brother. In truth it didn't feel like her brother's funeral at all. Only a show. 

"Ryder." Addison greeted as she stared at what would've been her brother's burial place if they had a body. 

"Addison," Ryder greeted back. "What do you want?" She was here for a reason and it had nothing to do with her brother. 

"I'm here to inform you of a meeting."

Ryder finally looked at her. "A meeting? My brother's body isn't even cold and you already want to get back to work. For crying out loud a funeral is no place to talk about this." 

Addison nodded stiffly. Ryder knew Tann put her up to this. She and Ryder actually got along. "I understand but things are changing. Andromeda is in grave danger. Please, Pathfinder."

This time it was Ryder's turn to beg. "Just not today please."

Addison gave another nod.

* * *

As Ryder stood near Cora's garden, where her brother's resting place is, she heard a voice.  _ "You're right. I hate my funeral." _

Ryder's jaw dropped on the ground. "Bryson?"

_ "Hey sis."  _ None other than Bryson stood next to her. In an effort to stop herself from hallucinating she rubbed her eyes. " _ You're not getting rid of me that easily." _

"You're not real."

" _ True,"  _ the ghost of her brother said. " _ I'm a figment of your imagination." _

"Why?" She questioned. Days ago she would've thought it was a blessing but seeing her brother just reminded her how she lost him. 

" _ Only you can answer that." _

"I must've lost my mind," she muttered. 

Bryson only gave her a saddened smile.  _ Was he feeling sorry for me? _

"I'm sorry," she apologized to her dead brother. "You're dead because of me."

_ "I'm dead because of the Archon. " _

But Ryder snorted. "That's exactly what you would've said. Hell, I miss you."

" _ I'll be right here."  _ His finger went to her heart. 

But that only annoyed her. Her brother was always the one that liked to say things like that. It was something they said in the vids. They were all lies. "That's a thing they always say."

_ "And you don't believe it?" _

"No! It's fake I want the real you. Why did you leave me!?"

" _ It's not like I wanted to." _

Ryder gave a very loud sigh. "I know."

* * *

"How are you doing?"

Liam was watching Ryder from afar wishing he could help her somehow. He was surprised to find Cora here. 

"I'm not the one that lost a brother."

He didn't need to look at her to know that she nodded at that. "It's hard for her. I can't imagine what she's going through."

"I wish I could do something to help her." Liam badly wished he could reverse time and fix this. But that was impossible. 

"You're there for her. That is enough."

But Liam doubted it was.

* * *

"Pathfinder," Tann greeted as Ryder arrived at the destination. "Thank you for coming. It is urgent that we speak."

Ryder nodded. She was nervous. Her palms too sweaty and her heart beating too loud in her throat. 

"It is time to discuss what is next."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to come and say hi on [ Tumblr ](https://rpgwrites.tumblr.com/).

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come and say hi on [ Tumblr ](https://rpgwrites.tumblr.com/).


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